Yeah, it’s real. But so is the weight behind it.
I don’t have it all together. Never have.
The teeth? Took 18 months of braces and 30 weeks of Invisalign.
The hair? Mine, after 4,000 follicles were pulled from the back of my head and implanted on top. Confidence came with a scar.
My therapist says I have high-functioning anxiety and an overactive amygdala.
I believe her
I run three electrical companies. I’ve published two children’s books, finished another, and I’m writing two more.
I’m raising a family. I’m building a legacy. And every day, I’m pulled between what I have to do and what I want to do.
I struggle…
with time, with money, with trying to keep it all moving.
And yeah, there’s a never-ending movie playing in my head.
Fix the washer. Add water to the pool. Respond to that text. Be present. Be strong. Don’t slip.
And the truth is
I don’t even know why I’m writing this.
Maybe it’s because I need to say it out loud.
Maybe because someone else out there is scrolling in silence, feeling like they’re the only one carrying this weight.
I went to a celebration of life for one of my employees recently.
And it rocked me.
Not because I didn’t see it coming, but because there’s no guidebook for how to hold grief and responsibility at the same time.
I feel the loneliest when everything stays in my head.
When I’ve got a million tabs open and nowhere to offload.
When I’m the one everyone counts on, but no one knows what I’m carrying.
People think I’m big and mean.
But I’m just someone who feels deeply and leads even when it’s hard.
So let me say this:
Stop comparing your life to your cousin’s.
Stop trying to raise your kids the exact way your parents raised you.
Stop measuring your pace against someone else’s highlight reel.
The world is different now.
It’s not 1998. It’s not even 2019.
And nobody gave us a rulebook for how to raise families, run businesses, lead people, and stay sane at the same time.
We are all walking through uncharted territory.
And I’m choosing to lead through it.
Even when it’s messy. Even when it costs me peace.
Because I can live with the weight of leadership.
But I can’t live with the regret of standing still.
I’d rather lead and die
…than follow and fade.
-JP💪
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